 Mullets Rule!
In my excellence of mullet-dom, I will attempt to educate the uneducated on mullets. In this course we will see some horrible mullets and some not-so-bad mullets. Just as a caution and to keep my butt from being sued, I must add the following:
Do not do this to yourself.
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The Two-Tone
Ouch. As you can tell, this womanthing has no purpose in life anymore... she apparently bleached her hair blonde months ago but decided not to keep it up.
Skank-o-meter:  7 of 10 grease monkeys.
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The MacGyver
MacGyver, a.k.a. Richard Dean Anderson, can make repair a broken car with gum, build a bomb out of a refrigerator, and blow up a shed with a bike. So why would he keep the mullet? Because it's AWESOME!! Power cut... if I had the hair for it, I'd seriously consider it. But drop the tank top, dude.
Skank-o-meter: 1 of 10 grease monkeys.
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The Alabama Prom King
This guy had it all in high school: a girl, a lawn mower, teeth... undoubtedly he was prom king. Well... do they call it "prom" there? Or do they refer to it as "Sadie Hawkins" like we do? Thought provoking. Anyway, this young man is demonstrating the southern tradition now referred to as mullet & moustache. Admire that beautiful specimen.
Skank-o-meter: 6 of 10 grease monkeys.
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The Ambiguous Downhill Spiral
In Michael Bolton's case, he's got an ambiguous downhill spiral: his career and his hair. Bolton's hair always looked like it was styled by blind eigth graders and dried with a weed whacker.
Skank-o-meter: 7 of 10 grease monkeys.
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The Trailer Trash
Wet. Poor. Pale.
Trailer trash.
Skank-o-meter: 8 of 10 grease monkeys.
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The Skullet
With a skullet, the top part of the head is showing. Sometimes it's due to shaving, other times it's due to baldness. The specimen shown doesn't look too horrible with his skullet.
Skank-o-meter: 4 of 10 grease monkeys.
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The Uncle Jesse
He only worried about his hair (in fact, he helped Joey on the infomercial for the Spray Guard 2000... and ONE!) on Full House, yet he kept it as a mullet... why. Why, why, why...
Skank-o-meter: 10 out of 10 grease monkeys - just because his catch phrase was "have mercy." No mercy for you, mullet boy. |
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